WTF: Silent Hill: Revelations (SPOILERS)

Okay, ready to hear me bitch? I am actually going to start out quite positive. For those who know me, I was going into this movie as critical as ever. After the first film fucked up, I can say I was eager to see how this one would turn out. I haven't played completely through the third game, but I did read a very detailed plot summary to check out the ending and whatnot. So I went into the movie knowing what to expect, basically, what to look for and compare and contrast.

I am going to be completely honest, the beginning of the movie really drew me in. The action was intense and the creatures of Silent Hill were wicked in the best way possible. That same fear I felt playing Silent Hill at night, with the lights turned off and surround sound system on, was the same intensity I felt during the movie. The fact that this film even came close to capturing that fear really impressed me. The first film hardly scared me at all, and it seemed too light and feathery. This movie, just in terms of lighting, was more dark and gory. I loved it.

The ending, well the ending is where things are supposed to get real fucked up. But in this film, this is where the film FUCKS up. It seems like they put all this passion and hard work into the first part of the movie, and as it winded down, they just wanted to get it done and over with. In the game, there is the coolest part when Heather vomits up the evil deity in fetus form and Claudia eats it and births the new evil deity. Heather must defeat it. So cool, right?

Well, this is how the film ends. Apparently, it is announced that Pyramid Head is Alessa's guardian (Alessa is the evil part of Heather and creator of the Darkness in Silent Hill). Claudia, who never ate a fetus that Heather NEVER vomited, turns into a creature after touching this golden key with the Silent Hill crest on it, and proceeds to whack the shit out of Heather. Pyramid Head steps in and blocks the hit and fights for Heather.

BULLSHIT! Pyramid Head is not a fucking guardian, saint, or anything of the sort! Pyramid Head is a manifestation of James' guilt of his wife's death  from the second game! He is BAD! Bad bad bad! By doing this, they may as well have chopped off Pyramid Head's penis and gave him a pillow to throw around rather than his blade. The boss fight lasted...oh not even two minutes...and I swear it looked like a bitch-slap fight. Even the decapitation wasn't that cool. I sat through all of this depressing shit to watch a couple of creatures bitch-slap each other? And watch a badass symbol of Silent Hill become a pussy? Vincent, who dies in the game, survives in the movie and becomes Heather's new boy toy. All is happy...bleh.

Douglas, the private investigator, hardly played a role. In the game, he has a huge role and makes it all the way to the final scene. In the film, they killed him off almost immediately and I sat there wondering, "Why even introduce him if you aren't going to develop his character?" It was completely senseless. People who haven't played the game are probably wondering, "Who the hell was that and why was he in this movie?" If only they knew...Even if you took it as a movie by itself, he looks like he won a walk-on role in some cheesy internet contest.

BUT...the movie quickly made up for it at the VERY end. Heather and Vincent are walking out of Silent Hill, and despite endangering her life for her father, she seems completely and oddly cool with the fact that he decided to stay in Silent Hill to look for his wife (from the first film). As they are walking, they flag down a semi and hitch a ride with the driver. He introduces himself as Travis Grady. I nearly jumped out of my seat.


I let out a hearty laugh...no one else laughed. Travis Grady was the semi driver from Silent Hill Homecoming who picked up Alex Shepard to bring him into town. The next one had me really laugh.


I notice as they are driving, sirens are coming in the distance. I just figured they were going to investigate all of the deaths and weirdness of Silent Hill. Lo and behold, in between these sirens was a prison bus. Fuck yeah! I threw my head back in laughter...and no one else laughed. I wanted to turn around and say, "Come ON guys! It's that bus! From the last Silent Hill game!" It was Murphy's prison bus from Silent Hill Downpour, which cleverly explained the discontinued falling ash in that game (the ash stopped falling when Heather and everyone escaped and the creature was defeated). In Downpour, it is only fog and the "otherworld" never shows itself. It was this film that made it make sense to me. It blew my mind, and I applaud them for that.

Overall, I am pretty satisfied. Despite the pussy fight and ending, the very ending left a good taste in my mouth and the intensity of the fear and creature design blew the first Silent Hill out of the water. As a diehard Silent Hill gamer, I can openly say I highly recommend this movie to other gamers. It is quite entertaining when you aren't analyzing the shit out of it.

Drunken Thoughts on World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria

Please excuse all spelling errors. It's not my fault. Well, nevermind, it is my fault. 

Yes, precisely, I am drunk right now. And do you know how I got drunk? No, I DON'T do frat parties, I DON'T get trashed at the bar. No. I am with friends, drinking, as we watch YouTube videos like Team Fortress 2 parodies and Meet the Pyro (so good). Videos like Cyanide Happiness and game mod music videos (Oblivion, in particular). Potter Puppets and Skyrim raps. Yep, this is how I spend my Friday nights, if I am not playing World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria.

This is my first OFFICIAL experience playing World of Warcraft. I know...GASP! I began the starter edition over the summer and finally dropped the dollars to get Mists of Pandaria. Upon seeing the commercials, I had initially thought this game would be like Kung Fu Panda on crack. I actually have no idea why I even purcahsed the game. Maybe I needed something new. No, that can't be it. I just got Borderlands 2 for free, and I purchased Torchlight 2. And I pre-rented Dishonored, how can I possibly be bored?

Anyways, the game. Okay, I actually like World of Warcraft. I know people get all touchy about the subject, saying people who play WoW never shower, have no friends and no life except for on WoW. As I have come to find, this is NOT true. It's a pretty fun game, and I found myself spending countless hours on it very easily. Until you get fucking lost on a crazy twisted map and all you want to do is complete your objective so you can advance to level 10 and join the Alliance or the Horde and get on with your godforsaken WoW life...Jesus. Sorry, I am lost on a map right now as a level 7 Night Elf and it's really annoying because the map isn't that difficult...

Sorry. Yes, Alliance vs. Horde. I didn't realize how intense the rivalry was between Alliance and Horde until I saw some people smack-talking the Alliance on the public chat. And then I asked some of my Horde friends about the Alliance and they got all bent out of shape, saying Alliance are stuck up. It's like fucking liberals and conservatives (I'm Alliance). It's batshit insane...okay not that insane, but you know what I mean. WoW is a whole 'nother world with a whole 'nother set of responsibilities and friends and...dare I say...lovers. It's another life out there, and I find it absolutely amusing as all hell. That's why I keep playing. I love leveling, joining guilds, completing quests and finding new ones - shit, it's flipping entertaining. I have this need to level higher, get better weapons, better armor - fuck I haven't even done a raid yet! I'm still a n00b, but I love learning and getting more experience.

Did I mention, the panda's dance cracks me up every time? If only I could dance like a panda...

Perks of Working at a Video Store: Let's Talk "Dishonored"

Last night while working at my second job, I opened the drawer of the new releases (yet to be shelved for debut on Tuesday) and saw Dishonored. We, as employees, are allowed to rent out movies and video games before they are released, so I took it upon myself to take advantage of this opportunity. The only problem was, it was Sunday and it had to be back by Midnight tomorrow. And did I mention, it's free?

So yes, Dishonored. The premise of the game is, you're a guy who just got fucked over hard, and now the Empress is dead, you're getting framed for her murder and it's up to you to rescue the Empress's daughter, wherever the hell she may be. There is a God-like being called The Outsider who marks you and grants you supernatural powers, including things like possession and teleportation of a sort. Your abilities depend on the amount of mana you have, and what abilities you have depend on how many runes you find. So many runes buy you more abilities. In a time of the plague, the rats and fish are dangerous to you. The rats move in packs and you will see them gnawing on a corpse every once in a while. I was attacked by a pack of rats while trying to spin a wheel to open a door, which was a bitch, because every time they attacked me, I dropped the door.

The makeup of the environment is pretty cool, and includes steampunk-esque setting in the dank depression of a dark time. It's almost medieval--with a twist. You have a string of secret allies backing you up, who provide you weapons like crossbows and guns and swords. You are almost always carrying two weapons: more than likely a sword in the right hand, and in the left hand it can change anywhere from a weapon to an ability. With your creepy, iron mask, you are 100% badass.

From what I played, the story, setting and gameplay all rated pretty high in my book and I highly recommend this game to those interested in like Metro2033 and Fallout.

My Job Interview with Riot Games

I think it's safe to talk about this now. As most of you probably do not know, I applied for a Writer position with Riot Games a couple months ago. After forgetting about the application completely, I was emailed and asked to schedule a phone interview with another writer for Riot Games. It was 1AM when I got the email, and when I did, I ran around my apartment screaming like a little girl and jumping up and down on my bed...It's not every day a big-name video game company wants to interview you.

The days leading up to the interview were torture. I spent a lot of hours researching Riot Games...a.k.a playing A LOT of League of Legends. When the interview finally came around, I had constructed a board of interview questions and their answers, so that I could be prepared. This included in-depth research of questions Riot Games has asked candidates in the past. This was my dream job, and despite it being all the way out in bum fuck, California, I still wanted to gain the title "Riot Games Writer." Somehow, amidst all of my research, I forgot to look at the writing on Riot Games' website.

She told me immediately that everyone was really impressed with my resume cover.

She told me it had been circulating around the office and that people loved it. She also loved a quote from my rewrite writing sample, "Grab professionalism by the testes." I was so sure I had it. 

She called me and despite telling me in the email the interview would last 45 minutes, it only lasted about fifteen. And of course, they asked me about the voice of Riot Games writing on the website. I bullshit my way through it. 

Needless to say, I didn't get it. Then again, I didn't want to move all the way to California, but at the same time, it set me up for life and I know I want to be involved with video games somehow, some way. I could be like the other posts I read and bitch about how Riot Games doesn't know how to interview potential employees, how their system for hiring is skewed and the professionalism lacks. But truth is, I had a blast geeking out with the girl on the other end of the line. It's not every day I find someone to geek out with, let alone another female. We went into intense detail about Champions we use, the abilities we admire and Champions we hate. As a Riots employee, I could've gotten a loaded LoL account. I am not exactly sure what that means, but I have a pretty good idea, and just the thought of having that nearly blew my mind. I played against a Riot Employee the other day on LoL and he kicked my ass, probably because his account is LOADED. Despite failing the interview, I wouldn't have wanted to spend those fifteen or so minutes any different. 

 I am currently waiting to hear back about my internship application at Game Informer Magazine. Hey, not everyone can say they caught the attention of and interviewed with a national video game company. 

Borderlands 2 and Torchlight 2 Worth Everyone's Time

Okay, I know it has been a WHILE. I definitely caught the plague going around my university, but I'm back and with much to tell about the two games I had the pleasure of drowning myself in amidst the pool of mucus and a sea of tissues. 

Since playing the first Borderlands game a long time ago, I couldn't feel anything gripping or memorable. I hadn't been as in to it as others were. Upon setting up the second Borderlands on my laptop, I was immediately pulled in to the story. Honestly, Handsome Jack (the main antagonist) really just pisses me off and I wanted to off him as soon as possible, and I held on to this drive to get through the game. Aside from that, the graphics were well-developed and the Phys-X engine did its job in creating an ease in play and sharper details. I could play Borderlands 2 for years with as many side quests that are offered throughout the game. But for this time around, I stuck to the main objectives just so I could properly review the game for Metal Arcade. 

I love the selection of guns. There's nothing I love more in a video game than testing out new weapons with each level up. Take a look at this actual gun in Borderlands 2. I can't wait until I stumble upon this bad boy. 

When I found out this was a real gun in Borderlands 2, I nearly lost it. Props to them for their sense of humor. It's a pretty badass gun with a hell of an annoying set of sound effects. Haha, very funny...

Overall, I haven't gotten sick of the game yet. It keeps me busy when I'm not busy with school, and the co-op is even more entertaining. I'm more of a single-player, but that's just me.

I pre-purchased Torchlight II and I am still trying to figure out if it is THAT much better than the first Torchlight. It got a lot of crap for being repetitive in a not-so-open world. I have to admit, Torchlight II has a lot more area available for exploration and it makes finding quests that much more entertaining. I find myself thinking Torchlight II is just as fun as the first one, especially now that you can play online or with friends. I have to say I am glad I chose to purchase this rather than Diablo III.